Monday, January 16, 2006 @6:46 PM
my life has been so mundane and routinal. wake up. school. home. wake up. school. home. and the cycle repeats itself.
well, but to think on the bright side, sch's been a great place for entertainment. like bimbotic, bitchy, retarded, mindless, airheads kind of enjoyment. sigh. who are the friends i know man? lol..
i need to lament. my friends have been bullying me. child abuse. big bullies. i protest. i am not a pushover. put to jail. yes, ha. 1st you guys went to eat chocolate fondue w/o me then you guys criticize my bag/sweater/pencil case.
!@$#%^%$$ haha, but we must eat fondue on fri man. please???? anw, back to these peeps, we have such a fun time during PE today. wah. for the 1st time. we spent most of it picking up 'balls' and laughing till our sides and chest hurts.
now i need to rant. i think my writing style really sucks these days. and i'm sorry. i can help it. some people just pissify me.
it is such a drag that i got to spoonfeed someone of the same intellectual level, same age as me. it's so irritating how i got to tell her what to do STEP BY STEP like literally. and she'll ask me questions. not all at one go. but one qn for every sms. what a bloody waste of sms lah. the worst: she expects people to reply promptly to her smses but she seldom replies to mine, so i'm often unsure whether i've sent the sms to her or have she done the things told of her to do. WAH. (ok, seeyun shan't curse. thinking about it just makes my blood boil). today, i sms-ed her regarding how her preparation was going and she never reply me. LIKE don't care. don't bother about me. luckily her class was pretty near mine and i managed to get hold of her.
and now i understand why she did not make it into most interviews she went for. 1st council then ogl. she prepares for all the interviews but never seem to go through most of it, esp those requiring of leadership. but to think how she had to be guided throughout gave enough evidence on how she would lead. she's the class president and she tries very hard to be a good one. but the thing is, her class is still.. hmm. i think her class tends to find her irritating sometimes cos she tries too hard to be an angel.
and it's really sad that she is my good friend. she is good as a friend, but definitely needs improvement as a workmate. and i am torn on how to advise her because i don't want to come across as overly empowering and yeah, throwing my authority around. afterall, she is in my close clique of friends. therefore it is not very nice.
G says that she has changed a lot six months ago. i did not believe her. cos either i was still indifferent or i'm just ignorant. today if you asked if she changed, yes is my answer. i think it's more than just a physical change but more of a change in the way she thinks and how she acts.
haha. huat, i shall be an angel and shan't say no more. yes, i admit i'm speaking ill behind her back. but if i am given the choice and i've carefully analyze the pros and cons of confronting her, i would have just advised her that i'm quite unhappy.
(like how i voiced out regarding ed board meeting to bonnie and we are friends now? hmm, are we? considering you always bully me. HUH?)
i'm not someone who holds grudges. maybe after today, when everything's cool and back to normal, i would regret posting this entry
i should not tell her because:
-she is my very good friend
-she would think that i shouldn't be doing that to her since i'm a good friend
-it is just another 6 months i should just bear with it
-she still contributes in a way or two
i should tell her because:
-since we work as a team, there should be some kind of efficiency and assurance in a team
-she should be more sensitive towards people
oh well. mind bogging.. i should just go and work on hist tutorials.