Actually, I'm not humiliated to say that 2005 had been a life-time experience, a life-time learning for me. I doubt i'd get to do what i've done again in the near future.
Think i'll start with school as the broad idea because it will definitely link to my goals, values, friends, and eventually life as a whole.
School is such an important part of my life this year. i think i spent more time in school than i spent at home. home has reduced to a place to relax and sleep/re-charge for another school day. at first i really did not want to come to AC. lots of rumours, lots of disencouragement. but as usual, i rebelled against all odds and came back after 1st 3 months.
Well, i supposed i did alot within the year. interact. bintan ocip. interact president. charity car wash. promos. CCAAB. OGL.
now as i want to blog about the year, everything feels so misty and blur. had a chat with bonnie just now.
quote:
Looks like "Hahaha!" is our new punctuation. says:
what're you doing now?
seeyun™ tae7en.blogspot.com says:
blogging about my year
Looks like "Hahaha!" is our new punctuation. says:
oh crap.
seeyun™ tae7en.blogspot.com says:
by the time i finish it will be the last day of 2005
Looks like "Hahaha!" is our new punctuation. says:
seriously?
Looks like "Hahaha!" is our new punctuation. says:
I tried to today
seeyun™ tae7en.blogspot.com says:
you will definitely be in my post
Looks like "Hahaha!" is our new punctuation. says:
but I seriously think I've lost it
Looks like "Hahaha!" is our new punctuation. says:
I'm sad
seeyun™ tae7en.blogspot.com says:
haha.. i just started..
Looks like "Hahaha!" is our new punctuation. says:
hahah yes. Too Much For A Twenty-Six, Again?
seeyun™ tae7en.blogspot.com says:
haha.. nah, more like "so what have i done in 2005?"
Looks like "Hahaha!" is our new punctuation. says:
I've always wondered why there was this ritual to do a self-evaluation at the end of the year
Looks like "Hahaha!" is our new punctuation. says:
and there's always the same conclusion: I have been a shitty person. I promise to improve next year!
Looks like "Hahaha!" is our new punctuation. says:
but then the cycle begins again...
seeyun™ tae7en.blogspot.com says:
yeah.. i'm trying to change that
seeyun™ tae7en.blogspot.com says:
i will praise myself
Looks like "Hahaha!" is our new punctuation. says:
hahaha
Looks like "Hahaha!" is our new punctuation. says:
that's good
Looks like "Hahaha!" is our new punctuation. says:
We should all love ourselves. Then the Slimming Corporations won't win!
so i suppose this gonna be a self-praise entry. personally, i feel that it's useless to think back about the things you have done in the past year and reflect upon you. such should be done once the activity is just over and the feeling is still fresh in your head.
truthfully, i don't think i've made many true friends in jc, other than the close few whom i hang out with a lot. though the relationship was 'unhealthy', i suppose we sadists enjoy each other company through the sarcasm, teasing, bullying and putting down of each other. but, thankfully i met you guys or else other than my CCA and school, life would have suck.
I'm not sure if JC is the time where you find life-time friends. i think you can find 1-2 life-time friends but definitely not a whole clique. 2 years is really too short. you can barely accomplish what you want to do to get a good cert or a few-pages long resume.
last year i look forward to start JC because i'm tiired of being a secondary school student. now, i can't wait to get over with As and move on to uni. i want to be labelled as a uni student. and i want to know what course i'll do and where will i study.
Dream bubble burst. back to reality. the next 11 months are gonna be the do it or die months. i think i really got to keep in mind what i hope to achieve by 2007. and what i have to do to turn dreams into reality. I'm really scared of what is awaiting me next year but i think the key is believe in what you can do.
i love the experiences i have this year. and the most recent, my holiday trip. it was really more than just a holiday. (you can read my archives)
i think the only regret i have this year is not working hard enough in my studies. and promos results reflect all of my crap work. how my econs are now down the drain. DAMN IT! but i like macro-economics more i supp. holiday elearning was rather interesting. it feels more real, unlike micro-economics dead and rigid and theoretical principles and graphs. *cross fingers*
So final statement: i'm pleased with 2005.
but what i hope to achieve in 2006 is so much more magnificent and life-threatening. (sounds like i'm going to war) well, As is really a huge stepping stone. although it's JUST a certificate, to me, it's an important piece of document, so important that i can sacrifice so much just to get my 4As. i think it is accomplishable if i put my brains (yes, not mind) into it.
alrite, i think my countdown today (it's 12:30) will be a quiet one. i'd like to bid my final farewell to 2005 in a peaceful manner and solemnly welcome 2006.
| You Have a Choleric Temperament |
 You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon.Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall.You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others. At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults.Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion.A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior. |
What Temperment Are You?
while such tests you can't take them all in (like duh) it does have some truth in it.
i had a few posts that are half-written and saved in my dashboard. but yeah, everything when i was blogging, something has to crop up and i have to pry myself away from the computer and leave my poor entry dangling in mid-air. and when i re-read them, it always feel inappropriate or out-dated to post them, thus, my entry has always been stuck on the two random tests i took few days ago.
I'm finally getting the feel of what life gonna be like a few days time. 6 days time to be exact. went to sch till about 6 these two days and rush. hectic. logistics. planning. cheering. dancing. socializing.
i enjoyed myself just that my poor legs are in agony. my knees are bruised from the mass dance's floorwork. the mass dances were a mega difficulty for someone with two left feet. they are so much harder than this year. ehem. but i like the music. black or white by MJ. haha. such a MJ fan.
i like my lossehelin (is that how you spell it?) K-Y-O-F-U. hehe. so offensive. but my head ogls are great people especially lydia. she's crazy.. all the cheers. ti-ti-ti-ti.. we must have irritated the other clans because we are such time-stallers. KYOFU boo. our march-in must have been the most elaborate ever. crawlers. zombies. creepy make-up. chants: ashes to ashes. dust to dust. kyofu will scare you. we must, we must.
ha. i better comment on my dear og partner. well, he's GREAT. haha. (if he's reading this). he did a lot of work and i'm relying on him lots to rah-rah the og and teach the mass dance. (self-defense) of course, i'll help. DEFINITELY i will help ok! just that he's probably will end up a better and more convincing OGL than me. yups.
alritey. i'm gonna really enjoy my last few days of 'freedom'.
| Your Blogging Type is Confident and Insightful |
 |
| Your Hidden Talent |
 |
i am so dead! %&!#$%*
i just saw the orientation mass dances and ehem. i got to master it in say 2 days. and gen haven't gotten it right still. to put it in gen's words "it's not a genius' thing" i hope to find some truth in this statement.
i will probably be the lousiest and most bitter OGL around. Kill me! andre is such a poor kid. he has to bear with me. but hey, orientation is not just all about the dance right? right? right? although i'm not that good with steps, i can make strangers comfortable, okay? (Self-comforting)
yeah, and i still have not done my history assignment and i'm proud to say none of the hist buds have done it too. we are such slackers. ok, i aim to do it next week once i ploughed my way through the notes.
tomorrow's Christmas eve. finally! i'm hooked on "last christmas". hear so many versions of it. beatles, savage garden and the lastest is jimmy eat world. my favourite catchy christmas song this year. probably be going for a family fren's christmas party.
hmm, i've been googling a lot of weird stuff. google is a trustworthy search engine. love it. life without google sucks.
google: would you like me to be your spokesperson? (big bucks please)
Schoolyard Bully
You are 28% Rational, 57% Extroverted, 57% Brutal, and 42% Arrogant.
You are the Schoolyard Bully! You focus more on feelings than rationality, and thus tend to be driven by your emotions. You are probably easy to anger or annoy, for instance. You are also an extrovert who wouldn't mind having a lot of attention, although you may not always get it. Another character trait you possess is your brutality, manifested by the fact that you tend to be aggressive and do not care about the well-being of others. Also, you exhibit signs of humility, leading one to conlude that you are actually insecure, because very few people are truly humble AND brutal. Thus, like any schoolyard bully, you seek constant attention for yourself and have no issues with administering beatings because you are quite emotional and easy to upset. Not only that, but your insecurity may be a prime motivation for your brutality. As psychologists have noted, most schoolyard bullies only pick on others because they have a negative self-image. This could possibly be true of you. In short, your personality defects are your brutality, extroversion, irrationality, and your possible insecurity. Go pick on someone your own size!
To put it less negatively:
1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.
2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted.
3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle.
4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=4741219933576750506
how comforting to find out about this. haha. in denial. (protest! not true!)
They called me fire, a dangerous flame to fool with.
They said I was evil, twisted creation of a vile mind
They branded me a failure, for what I failed to do
They called me worthless, a spineless weakling
I was all that, and more
I was poison, I hurt all I touched
Tainted and smeared, shade of the past
Poison corrupts...don't you know?
I felt the first searing touch of flame in a dream
Horrors beyond imagination lurked in the abyss of my mind
Endless howling shrieks echo despairingly at the edges of my awareness
And laughter, mocking and taunting, hissing at me
I felt the first icy touch of frost in the dark
Brittle and cold, a rude shock to my sensibilities
So fragile, yet so harsh
And the eternal winter descended, encasing me in a loveless embrace
I tasted the bitterness of hate and pain, of regret and fear
How it consumed me in the very vileness of it!
And yet I willingly thirst for more
Eager it seems, to drown in sin of the darkest kind
I fled from the light, right into the bowels of darkness
I was afeared, for Light was hypocritical
But Dark, in its unchanging solitude, changed not
Perhaps I was just a coward, afraid of change
All I had even known, since my descend into the darkness
Was the cleansing flame of Pain
The bitter cold that was Regret
And the fleeting shadows that was Fear
But perhaps, greatest of all was Hate
The perfect solitude that it personified
The utter emptiness it possessed at its best
Hate was the Poison that coursed through my very veins
I am Poison, and always will be
Touch me not, lest ye be burnt
Keep away, lest ye be struck down by the deadly plague
I am Poison … and thou wouldst do well to know that
but before i do that, i wanna say something. i must be drunk yesterday. one of my tag's grammar was atrocious. haha, and all my tags were directed to bonnie. hmmm. hahaha.
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anyhow, anyway, i understand that most peeps like my cousin wouldn't get the pun, but when she told me that she didn't really get it (though she was close after my mega hint), i felt that it really need to be explained by me.
pardon me, i really feel that the title has great significance to my blog entry.
suspense. suspense.
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(i hear "seeyun, you are a ****" lol)
okokokok
26 stands for the 26 alphabets. these mere 26 alphabets can be jumbled out and formed thousands of words. yet these so-many words formed by the alphabets were not enough to describe what i want to say on that day. which explains why my entry was ultra long and i jumped from topics to topics.
so, in other words, it's an exaggeration.
alright, get it?
am i smart or not?
don't you think it's nice? huh? huh?
lol.
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yea, and i had so much to write that i forgot to talk about my day trip to philip island. hmm, what should i say? i'm suppose to be a tourist and be fascinated by the itinerary. well, it wasn't that bad actually. the kangeroos and koalas and sheeps were adorable and i was cam-whoring with them. but you don't get this satisfied feeling because you only get to feed them and take pics. period. i would say the yummy warm scones were more of a highlight. =p
but, penguin parade was a blast. the little penguins (and yes, that's their names) are so adorable. they are a close bunch, waiting for the buddies to come to shore before wobbling their way back to their burrows. despite being washed back to sea by the strong cold waves, they perserve and continue the wait. and if they realized one little penguin missing, all of them would jump back to sea. for penguins, it's really cute.
but
please don't personify it. personally, i dont think people should do things in big groups all together at one time. it's too time-consuming and you probably get nothing done. putting in school context, especially a class, i feel that decisions should be made by a group of people, giving the rest of the class choices and vote; instead of "hey, let's have a class outing", and all kinds of suggestions rushed in and nothing get recorded cos everyone tends to be opinionated.
haha. weird title? but you will figure out later if you are smart (muahaha, so if you are not smart, *dots*) hint: the way my entry is being structured
it's gonna be a pretty long entry
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still in melbourne. like i said to a lot of w's friends, i really don't look forward to going back to singapore. not that it's so fun that i refuse to pull my butt away from australia, but it's the reality of school that i got to face. people have started sms-ing me, emailing me when i will be back because i need to gear up for all my commitments.
-my og partner sms-ed me to call him back when i reach singapore. ha, i'm so sorry that i left him all alone during the camp and he had to start painting banner all by himself. ok, i'll make sure that i contribute more during the camp.
-then mrs lek emailed me FINALLY and asked me about suitable people to replace some positions. but i think it's not just me who can decide.. got to ask the rest of the committee. but ricky sms-ed me to tell me that he'll be staying for sup papers. really hope he can pass all the subjects so that i don't have to find a CIP director and he's a very responsible guy.
ok, see now i've mixed feelings about my return. i can't wait to meet up with my friends. but it's not just my family that is waiting for me at home, but the pile of homework. i've 10 days to finish up my history assignment (which he gave practically not much help. email was just punctuated with loads of sarcasm.. as usual), gp assignments, economics self-study and the test to prepare for. and these 10 days still packed in my ogl camp, christmas and new year. STRESSED! and i'm worrying here in australia which shouldn't be the case. damn it.
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2006 got to be a "fun" year. fun as i'm gonna be a senior and it's my 2nd and final year with the class. fun as i will be torturing myself. fun as my life will turn black and white. literally. papers. notes. books. assignments. photocopying. fun as it determines what uni i go to in 2007: do i remain in singapore or i get the chance to go abroad.
i'm turning psychotic.
soon my holidays will end and it's time to welcome 2006. new year symbolizes new resolutions. resolutions that expire after the 1st month of the year.
i definitely have my resolutions for the year
1. be resourceful and spend my time well. no more slacking and sleeping through lectures even if the lecturer is dead boring. i really hope i get good econs lecturers and tutors next year *cross fingers*
zh, if you remember, we are supposed to be mugger bugger.
school-based resolutions are always a must but there's another personal resolution.
2. don't neglect my social life. keep in contact with everyone even if it's a mere simple "hi"
i've raised this issue previously and i felt that now it's a good time to start contacting people i have not contacted for a year, as well as maintain the friendship i have with bonds created this year. be it people from bintan 4, CCAAB, interact or random and even w's friends.
i sometimes wonder if those people that i haven't sms-ed for a year still remember me or if my contact still exists in their phonebook. therefore it's a river to cross as it'd be embarrassing if they can't remember me.
just two major resolutions this year. not that hard to achieve actually. and i personally find these resolutions fitting into the balanced life i hoped to achieve next year.
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before i sleep last night, i made it a point to blog today and the title was thought before i sleep.
it was my cousin's graduation yesterday and she's the closest cousin of mine. haha, i bet she's honoured to hear that and i would say that she's the only one who can motivate me to write a not-so-dark poem. the poem dedicated to her was one of the really few sweet poems that i write.
one of the main reasons why i enjoyed my trip so far was not the superficial but the chats i had with my cousinS. the one in brisbane as well as the one in melbourne. it's weird that i don't talk to my sister about such stuff because my sis is basically a good listener but less of a speaker. but by speaking to my cousins, it's not so much about ranting, but it's more of hearing the different opinions, getting similar views about issues well as being rebutted by different opinions.
i'm really happy for my cousin to get a job right after graduation and i know that it's gonna be a tough job. but she's based in singapore, making meeting up with her much easier (or at least i hope)
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another bunch of people that i talked to quite abit are my cousin's friends, the honors bunch. like i said previously, they introduced me to something that never really crossed my mind: my career. they are all looking for jobs/have jobs/finishing their studies and moving on to the next window in life. yeah and of course the friends i have in singapore are basically schoolies, just waiting to get out of the rigid system (ehem). so the chats they have are OBVIOUSLY different from those i would have with my groups of friends. interesting twist with sweet results.
last night, after some dinner and drinks, we went to have some coffee and chat again. we touched on different issues: religion, school, life, holidaying (i still want to bungee-jump in NZ), personal.
when aaron asked us what was the highlight of the GC trip, haha, at the point of time i said, mealtimes. haha. ok, the question came too abrupt and i din have time to think. so right now, i slash that and say "the friends i made on the trip".
for many of the people, their highlight was "polar bear" game which i introduce (haha, i feel so proud of myself. muahaha) because they really got to see different views of people and it was THE bonding session for them.
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yesterday was a loong day and i had many pockets of time to think through stuff. i realized how much i have opened up since secondary school, especially after sec2 when i got more exposure. in pri school, i was although quite independent, i was still very sheltered from society. and being the one girl from my pri school to MGS, it made it a must to make friendss as quickly as possible or i'll be a loner. but i felt that although i have close friends whom i still see occassionally, the whole friendship-making was not successful. but for some reason (i need to take time to figure out), i opened up a lot in sec3, became more chatty and got to know more people.
so when my grandma said i had always been a quiet girl, she's quite right. i did not enjoy pri school that much which explains why i was alot more reserved.
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haha, i rambled too much. so does the title make sense now? i hope it does cos i'm quite proud this title i thought of. yes. i heard "Cough.ego.cough". but :p
haha. i've been online quite a fair bit these two days as i'm chilling at my cousin's place. melbourne's been great. i underestimated the cold wind at night though.
on sat, we went window shopping through myer and the small lanes along melb city. everything feels so expensive after shopping at the DFO in brisbane. i heard the DFO here is much bigger so we are currently waiting for some nice soul to drive us there.
food is fantastic in melbourne. we had good brekky everyday. nice thing about melb is that they have many theme-based cafes for you to chill. aussies lead a very relaxed life. damn it. jealousy strikes. you hardly see singaporeans drinking cap or latte from early morning to noon.
today we shopped for fruits at victoria market. the fruits here are so much sweeter, bigger, more variety and definitely alot cheaper here in melb. we bought cherries at 8 bucks/kg while ou get there for at least $16/kg in singapore. we were supposed to have picnic at botanic gardenwith my cousin's friends, but it was too crowded so we found our picnic spot at this park near melb mueseum.
i lead such a non-tourisy life in melb. there are barely any sightseeing and the only place we will most probably visit is penguin island. leading very much a life most international students lead here.
talking about islands, we were driving to the most expensive island in australia in GC. it is called the soveriegn islands. it is a man-made islands with the residents paving their own roads. every household owns a dock and a jetski or a yatch as they live by the river.
haha, oh, i was called "learned, well-read" by my cousin's friends. can't believe it. muahaha. feel so happy. does that mean i've the same intellectual level as a honors student that's why i can understand them and relate to them. haha, but my cousin would say "no, they're just childish". i think i was supposed to feel abit intimidated by them, but there were never such feelings. haha.
weatherman said there might be a thunderstorm tmr. not looking forward. i'll most prob be giving melb uni a visit tmr. ahhhh. all the brainwashing. now it seems like australia is the place to go for tertiary education. but i don't want. haha.
anyway, i'll be moving to a service apartment tomorrow which means no more internet access
do anyone of you guys need anything? like starburst, chocolates, nuts, fruits. or even clothes/bags/shoes. just send me a sms.. i'll be able to get it for you.
so far, my trip in australia had been fantastic.
we went for a 3-day trip to Gold Coast, visiting Dream World and Movie World, Sun-bathing at Surfer's Paradise and feasting on great food.
what a life! haha.
been hanging out with a lot of my cousin's uni friends. it gives me a totally different outlook on how people view life as they aged (i hope none of my cousin's friends read it. lol). they are fresh graduates all waiting to step out of their safe studying career, leaping a big step forward into real world. it is quite interesting talking to them as they are very career-minded and focussed on what they want in life. makes me kinda guilty. :(
back to Gold Coast..
one word: hotter than Singapore. temperatures raised up to 40degrees.
surfer's paradise has such a pretty beach. clear blue sea, squeaky sand, surfer boys. we went for a swim in the sea. near shore, it was tough as the waves are huge and keep pushing you back to shore. but, as you move deeper inwards, you can float with the waves and relax. wahhh
i wasnt that fascinated over the rides in the worlds. i have done worst.. a lot worse in Korea. but oh well, all's great and i still managed to spend a whole fruitful day in the worlds everyday. haha
alrite, i'll be flying down to melbourne tonight. i hope the weather there is much better than brisbane.
haha. last words.
my neice is a major cutie hotie babe. (:
alright guys, i might not be posting for the next 16 days or so if i don't get hold of a computer.
yup, so dun miss me too much (:
and sometimes, i just can't believe how ignorant i have been.
something minor makes me realize that i really live in my own fantasy, blocking out a lot of things in life.
time to change this attitude or i might be hated.
anyway, i have been keeping track of SEA games more than ever. most probably, it is because my classmate is competing and i'd really love she will win something. i'm not sure how well she fared, though i'm quite sure she didn't get a gold. but i'm wondering if she get any medals.
i think she really deserve something for all the hard work and dedication put into rowing. think about it: 7 months in some ulu-ated camp, waking up at like 4-5 to train. then rush to school. and you got to rush back to camp by 5 to start training. and by the time you can sit down to study, it's 10-11. and you only get to see your family on sunday. such a life sucks man. yet, she persevere.
and we are complaining at our comfort zone over pimples, no time to study, too tired.
i'm guilty (not the pimples part)